A daily episode from the tram

It’s Thursday afternoon at around 2 p.m. and I’m taking the tram to go back chez moi. I step on the tram, sit down next to 2 girls and get my book from my bag to read in the next 30 minutes. There’s one seat in front of me, which is not taken yet and there comes A guy and sits down. He touches my knee while doing so and I really don’t like that, but I don’t look up. I don’t want to look in his eyes. The tram leaves and I’m reading my book. 10-15 minutes pass by and suddenly he drops his beer can on the floor. And on his shoes. I don’t look up, but he touches my knee again, which I really hate again, so I look up. He asked the two girls before something, but I’m also listening to music, so I didn’t understand. He asks me something in French and I tell him that I’m sorry, but I don’t understand. He puts his hands by his nose and imitates the movement of blowing his nose. His eyes are sparkly blue. He wants tissue paper. I tell him I don’t have any – which is true. Normally I keep them in my bag, but I already realised this morning that I don’t have any. Someone gives him tissues, so he cleanes his shoes and the floor. I calm down, because I’m concerned that finally it’s over. But some minutes later he drops the beer can on the floor again. This is when the realisation hits me: he’s falling asleep. He’s holding the beercan in his hands, he drinks a sip sometimes, but because he is falling asleep, the beercan ends up on the floor. I look up to make sure I was true, and I’m really not mistaken. Unfortunately. He can’t keep his eyes open. He can’t take responsibility for what he does. He is in a different world.

All the way, I keep thinking: on the edge of the society. Must be hard. But it’s him who has to do something about it. To make a change.

I’m angry at him, and sad, and I don’t care, because this is something you can bump into everyday in Lille, if you leave your house. This is just another episode. And this is not only in Lille. And this is bad. And I don’t want to judge, but I still do it, because this issue is important for me.

As I stand up before the stop I leave the tram at, I see a woman looking at me with judging facial expressions. I wonder: „Am I a bad person for not moving away from my seat when I saw what he was like?” But I don't care too much, just leave the tram.